Success guarding: Because my readers love hearing about my pain…

If you’ve been following along, you know I had shoulder surgery last December. By now, my shoulder has healed. But it kept hurting – sometime worse than before surgery.

I was doing all the things: Faithfully going to PT, getting bodywork, stretching and rolling it out every day.

But every time I started to ease back into my normal workout routines – it would seize up. Now just the shoulder – my whole ‘left quarter.’ Pec, to tricep, shoulder and back. It was like a migraine in my shoulder.

I Learned That This Is Called ‘Muscle Guarding.’

The body perceives normal movements or workouts as a threat. It automatically tightens up to try to protect itself. It’s the body’s natural protective mechanism. But there is no longer a threat. Nothing needs to be protected.

Finally, I got this advice, “Stop babying your shoulder. Stop trying to make it feel better. You’ve taught your nervous system to view your shoulder as fragile. Make it do normal things, stop getting massage or foam rollers. Address pain by making it work – not by making it comfortable.”

So, when it got tight and hurt, I started using ancient workout implements – a steel mace and Indian clubs. I stopped trying to make it feel better. Instead, I made it work and be normal.

In about a week, the pain went away. I worked out this morning. Normally, by now, I’d feel myself tightening up so much the pain would be distracting. But I feel fine.

I retrained my nervous system to accept health, growth and a successful recovery.

Are you guarding against success?

Have you tried to grow, expand, or pursue a goal just to experience a major set-back? Or maybe even a failure? (I’m going to focus this article on business. But these principles apply to marriage, family, personal finances, etc.)

Many leaders who have experienced genuine difficulties often develop trauma responses. These are often subconscious. But the pain or discomfort of those experiences caused a deep lesson to be learned, “Growth, goals, ambition, momentum – these are not safe.”

So, when momentum picks up in your business, you start to clench. You pull back. Slow down. Restrict progress.

And you don’t even think about it.

It’s common. Nearly all of my clients who’ve experienced a major disappointment or ‘injury’ of some kind in the past experience this. I watch them rebuild to the point where they can really go for it….and they clench. They pull back.

It’s never on purpose. And they struggle to recognize it. Because they misinterpret the discomfort for danger or injury.

10 ways you might be ‘success guarding’ – in no particular order

To business leaders, the behaviors below often feel like the smart or wise thing to do. Maybe they feel like the only option available because , “We’re so busy right now, you wouldn’t even believe it.’
They are nearly always protective mechanisms. They help you feel comfortable. But they do not serve you or your team well. They include:

• Staying “busy” with urgent work instead of strategic work.

• Sidelining growth initiatives at the first sign of friction.

• Reverting to low-leverage work (e.g., doing instead of delegating).

• Avoiding difficult conversations or big decisions “until things calm down.”

• Refusing to access outside help (coaches, advisors) even when overwhelmed.

• Delaying key hires to “save cash” even when growth has happened.

• Setting smaller goals that feel “manageable” but don’t excite.

• Withdrawing from visibility (public speaking, marketing, leadership).

• Micromanaging trusted team members—especially after a mistake.

• Defaulting to what’s familiar, even if it limits progress.

Do any of these look familiar?

Why We Guard Against Success
When leaders have a painful history – it can cause several things to happen:

1. Phantom Pain
   You react to old pain as if it’s still present.
   This shows up when past failures, betrayals, or breakdowns still shape current decisions.
   You’ve technically healed, but your memory or system hasn’t. So you say “no” to good opportunities, you don’t build out a management team, you stall bold moves, or protect yourself from threats that no longer exist.

• Common signs: Over-cautious planning, reluctance to delegate, avoiding risk that once backfired.

• Key driver: Emotional memory or fear of re-injury.

• What it needs: Reframing past experiences so they inform, but don’t dictate your decisions.
  You’re no longer injured. But your system still thinks you are.

2. False Ceiling Thinking
   You believe you’ve hit your capacity limit. But you’ve just found your comfort limit.
   Growth seems overwhelming – too fast, too much, too complicated. But that ceiling is often self-imposed. You may have outgrown your role, your tools, or your habits… but instead of leveling up, you shrink back.

• Common signs: “We can’t grow without breaking,” “I don’t want more complexity,” or “This is as big as I can handle.”

• Key driver: Confusing discomfort with danger.

• What it needs: A new lens to see how much headroom you have. As well as what’s possible with support.

What got you here will not get you there.

3. Muscle Memory
   When stress hits, you default to outdated behaviors.
   Maybe you have grown. But when things feel intense, your leadership style snaps back to what used to work: controlling, firefighting, getting lost in the weeds. These instincts probably helped build the company. But now they create drag.

• Common signs: Micromanaging, over-involvement, second-guessing leaders you’ve hired.

• Key driver: Habitual self-protection triggered by stress.

• What it needs: Conscious interruption. Upgraded leadership behaviors.
  Adversity is a stress test. It reveals your defaults.

4. Self-Protective Stall
   You tell yourself it’s a strategy, but it’s avoidance.
   On the surface, it sounds wise: “Let’s wait,” “We need more data,” “Now’s not the time.” But deep down, you know it’s hesitation disguised as prudence. You’re stalling to stay safe.

• Common signs: Perpetual preparation, decision delays, talking yourself out of bold moves with rational-sounding logic.

• Key driver: Fear of failure masked as responsible leadership.

• What it needs: Courageous, incremental action to re-teach your system that movement is safe.
  Riding the brake is not a strategy.

So, what do you do now?

• Start with awareness. Which of the 10 “success-guarding” behaviors are you doing?

• Pick one behavior to address. Make it normal to act again. Delegate the task you’re clinging to, make the hire, set aside time to work on strategic initiatives.

• Get support. These patterns are hard to spot and even harder to change alone. You don’t need to “feel ready.” You need to move. Make yourself accountable to your team, talk to a mentor, work with a coach.

The body protects itself long after the injury is gone. So do leaders.

If how you lead is “guarding” against growth, or holding your company back, let’s talk. I help high-performing CEOs and founders retrain their systems to build again.

Take good care,
Christian