CEO self-deception is the most dangerous variable in any tenure.

The biggest threat to a CEO’s success isn’t the market, a competitor, or even a downturn. It’s believing the lies they tell themselves.

Self-deception is anything we choose to believe because it better fits the narrative we prefer or have already accepted. It’s the internal monologue that we may not voice out loud, but still directs our decisions, reactions, and strategy. Leaders that struggle to find success are often limited by these lies. Leaders who’ve found dramatic success are at risk and often crash because of these lies.

I call these the Seven Lies Leaders Tell Themselves:

1) “Leaders must have all the answers.”

This lie shows up in two ways.

First, in leaders who hesitate. Afraid to act until they feel they know everything.

Second, in leaders who believe either that they do know everything or should look like they do.

Believing you need all the answers will either paralyze you or make you hard to correct. Either way, your credibility is at risk. Everyone else already knows you don’t have all the answers. And they don’t really expect you to.

Strong leaders don’t have all the answers. They do two things:

• They build the team that has answers and they listen to them.

• They learn to quickly recognize when they know “enough” to make a decent decision – and then they act.

When left unchecked, CEO self-deception turns “I need all the answers” into stalled progress.

2) “Conflict is bad and should be avoided.”

Conflict is uncomfortable. I started and ran a conflict resolution center for seven years. My first book was on conflict. I’ve mediated hundreds of disputes. And I still don’t think conflict is fun.

But believing conflict is wrong or harmful makes it worse. Leaders often deny a conflict exists, avoid the issue, or treat it like a threat that must be eliminated.

The truth is: Conflict is an opportunity for growth. It’s data. It shows us where expectations, values, or roles are misaligned. It reveals opportunities to improve and build trust. Avoiding it only embeds dysfunction.

CEO self-deception often reframes healthy debate as disloyalty, which kills learning.

3) “Strong leadership means ego and bravado.”

There’s a type of leadership—”big man” leadership—that thrives on power plays and attention. It can gain followers. It can retain control.

Few leaders will frame their leadership in these terms. But many will feel the need to capture attention or ‘throw their weight around.’

It’s not that this form of leadership can’t gain power. It can and often does. It’s the form of leadership that Machiavelli wrote about.

But it rarely builds anything sustainable. It’s not leadership influence. It’s leadership through dominance or transaction. This form of leadership requires an enormous amount of energy to sustain. And it dissipates quickly when the leader is perceived as no longer having control or anything to offer.

Sustained influence collapses when CEO self-deception confuses visibility with value.

4) “Admitting errors, vulnerability, or needing support is weakness.”

This lie comes from a fear of being ‘found out.’ The fear of showing weakness, or losing influence. The belief that people will only respect unerring competence.

And while it is true that people do want competence from leaders – you don’t achieve this by denying your limitations or mistakes. Denial just makes them harder to address. And it rarely persuades anyone.

The best leaders I know admit and address mistakes quickly. They acknowledge where they need support and go and get it. This creates space for others to do the same.

As a result, they don’t come across as weak or needy. They come across as people who are committed to performing at the highest level.

Owning limits is the antidote to CEO self-deception.

5) “Hierarchical authority equals real influence.”

The assumption: Once I have the title, people will follow.

People might comply. But that’s not the same as willingly following.

Leadership can exist with or without position. You can hold a title and never inspire vision, model behavior, or challenge the status quo. Many “leaders” are leaders in name only.

Ask yourself: If I didn’t have this title, would people still seek my guidance? If “yes”, you have true influence. If “no”, your ability to lead is limited to what your position represents.

CEO self-deception whispers that title is traction; it isn’t.

6) “Silence is consensus.”

In meetings, silence is often interpreted as agreement. But that’s rarely true.

People hold back for all kinds of reasons. Fear. Fatigue. Frustration.

If you haven’t created an environment where people feel safe deliberating or disagreeing —they won’t. You’ll know if you have or not based on whether or not (respectful) deliberations and disagreements happen. If they don’t, you’ll have blind spots.

Leaders who insist on consensus often get acquiescence instead. You’ll develop far more robust solutions with active deliberation and engagement – even if that means you can’t achieve consensus.

Perhaps surprisingly, you’ll often gain more support even from those who disagree – if you took the time to consider their perspective.

Teams conditioned by CEO self-deception give quiet compliance, not commitment.

7) “Leadership is innate, not developed.”

This one cuts two ways. Some leaders assume they were born as “natural leaders” and never feel they have something to learn. Others assume they weren’t, and don’t even try.

The truth? Leadership is practiced. Like strength or music. You might start with some aptitude. But it’s the practice that matters. And anyone can build more than what they have now.

We can train to lead. Practice beats pedigree—CEO self-deception says otherwise. That’s not wishful thinking—it’s observable, measurable reality. Conveniently, I wrote a book with that title Train to Lead. It offers specific ways you (or someone you are encouraging) can practice your leadership skills.

CEO self-deception and culture

These lies don’t just live in a leader’s mind. They metastasize into culture. I’ve seen boards full of smart, capable leaders afraid to admit they don’t understand the financials. Or executive teams where there is a tendency to avoid conflict, or not hold each other accountable.

It’s self-deception. And the higher you rise, the less likely anyone will point this out. CEO self-deception scales fastest where feedback is scarce.

The best leaders I work with aren’t perfect across the board. But they have a pretty accurate read on themselves. They know how they show up. And when they’re surprised by feedback, they listen.

We all have blind spots. Even what we do know, we rarely see from every angle. That’s why the healthiest leaders embrace challenge, feedback, and perspective.

Self-deception thrives in silence. The best leaders create the conditions where truth can be spoken—and heard. Build rituals that surface CEO self-deception before it calcifies into norms.

Forward this list to your team. Ask which of these lies they’ve seen in you. Don’t defend. Don’t explain. Just listen. Thank them. Then pick one lie and start leading differently. If you can’t do that, self-deception isn’t just a threat—it’s your leadership strategy.

A simple weekly debrief can expose CEO self-deception early.

Take good care,

Christian