One of my all-time favorite shows is The Office. Steve Carell’s character, Michael Scott, is consistently oblivious. Desperately wanting to be seen as ‘The World’s Greatest Boss,’ he was most often an object lesson in violating every HR policy written.

It’s fun to laugh at Michael Scott. But it’s not fun to actually work in offices with real-life versions of him.

Sometimes it’s bigger than insensitive jokes. We often see political, business, and community leaders who seem to forget the camera is on. Or they don’t feel a need to hide at all. Or they think that no one will ever care or find out.

Why do they do that? Why is what seems so obvious to everyone else not obvious to them?

But here is the more important question: How do we, as leaders, not make the same mistakes?

The position of leadership, especially if people see you as being particularly successful or powerful (regardless of how you see yourself), creates dynamics where perception is skewed. The more successful or powerful you are perceived to be, the more difficult it is to get honest, useful input.

It becomes harder to see yourself accurately.

Here are some reasons why.

1) Others see behavior. The leader sees their intentions.

This isn’t only true for leaders. It’s true for most people. Others see what we do. We see what we intended.

It is easy for leaders to rationalize their intentions and then justify their actions.

But leaders are responsible for outcomes and consequences. I may not have meant to hurt somebody, but I did. I may not have meant to be unfair, but I was.

That doesn’t mean we are responsible for everything people interpret. But regardless of my intent, if my decisions created a negative impact, I still own it.

Own the impact, not just your intention.

2) Feedback is less honest and complete.

The more power someone accrues, the less transparent and honest people are with them.

People are more deferential to those they view as successful or powerful. There is also an actual power difference. People are naturally less inclined to bring up issues they think might be unwanted. Especially if they don’t feel safe doing so. (That sense of safety might be generated from your workplace dynamics, or they may have carried it from their personal dynamics.)

People also want to be seen positively, so they self-edit and spin information. As information moves through layers, it can become even more distorted.

Keep people close to you whom you respect and who will tell you the truth.

Have people close to you who respect you but will tell you the truth. You need people who can shoot straight and aren’t worried to.

These relationships rarely happen by accident. You have to be intentional about building them. And you have to be willing to listen when they tell you something you don’t want to hear. Finally, they need to have enough visibility of your leadership that they can see your blind spots.

3) Success creates blindness.

Leaders are often smart, motivated people. They are good at some things. Perhaps they are experts at those things.

Then they overgeneralize their competency: ‘I’m good at this, therefore I’m good at that.’

This isn’t entirely their fault. Successful people are often ascribed a level of competency they don’t have. Look at how often we treat movie stars as experts on public policy.

Eventually, they can begin to believe it themselves.

Always be a student.

Learn something, in a group, that you aren’t good at. I think sports like BJJ are fantastic for leaders because the learning curve is steep and the feedback loop is fast and abrupt. But it could be an art class, a vibe coding class, anything.

But pick a difficult skill, practiced with others, where you are clearly not good at it. It’s important not to be the best in a room, to realize you may never be the best, and to still try to improve.

It’s healthy to be reminded of our limits and that other people are better than us at some things.

4) ‘I made a mistake’ vs. ‘I am a bad person.’

Many leaders believe they must know everything to lead. They believe they can never make a mistake or exhibit any flaws. This is common, and I’ve had clients tell me this very directly.

Ironically, this desire or need to ‘always be right’ sets them up to be wrong.

A mistake or lack of knowledge or skill becomes about identity rather than behavior. So they hide or defend small errors in judgment or poor behavior. While hidden, some of them grow or create much larger problems.

View mistakes as data, not identity.

If I make an error in judgment, instead of saying, ‘I’m stupid,’ I can ask: What assumptions did I make? What conclusions did I jump to? What should I have tested first?

If I lose my temper and yell at someone, I can acknowledge that I behaved poorly without concluding that I am a bad person. Then I can reflect on how to avoid losing my temper next time or better ways to handle frustration in the future.

‘I made a mistake’ is different from ‘I am a mistake.’

One allows you to learn. The other makes you want to defend yourself, and you won’t learn.

5) Bad behavior is often rewarded early on.

Certain ‘bad’ behaviors can produce results that seem positive for a period of time.

The bully boss gets results. Sure, they are abrasive. But they ‘get it done.’ So the bullying is tolerated and maybe even rewarded.

The leader who says yes to everything is ‘nice.’ People like them and want to include them. But they don’t hold anyone accountable and let poor behavior go on for too long.

If this is you, it’s tough because it is hard to recognize and accept. Good character and merit aren’t always the path to leadership and recognition.

What got you here might set you up for failure.

Don’t assume that bad behavior that has been excused, minimized, or rationalized will continue without consequence. It often grows until the consequences of that behavior start to overwhelm the perception of benefit.

How can you be sure you aren’t one of those leaders who ‘just doesn’t get it’?

You can’t.

That’s the tough reality. We always operate with bounded rationality. We can never know what we don’t know or see.

We are never going to be 100% sure how accurately we see ourselves. That should make us humble. Because we almost certainly are missing something.

It’s just easier to discover and address if we are open to it.

Pay attention to consequences, not just intentions. Keep truth-tellers close. Become a student. Treat mistakes as data instead of identity. Don’t assume that what got you here will keep you here.

Most importantly, have people who care about you, respect you, know you well enough to see you clearly, and aren’t awed by you or scared of you.

You’re going to get things wrong.

Stay humble enough to find out when you do.

Take good care,

Christian