I spent years of my life stuck in leadership hesitation—working hard and going nowhere fast. I was very concerned about “getting it right.” At least that’s what I said.

In reality, I was just afraid of making mistakes. And that was the bigger mistake.

Why?

Well, maybe you identify with this:

You can feel the pressure building at work. You are working as hard as you can, but it feels like your wheels are spinning.

You’re in meetings, replying to emails, your calendar is full.

But the org chart hasn’t been clarified.

The problem behaviors of a team member are unaddressed.

Strategic priorities haven’t been acted on.

You do think about it. You decide you want to “give the team space” to come to the right solution. You know you “need more time” to think through some decisions.

You don’t lack commitment. You’re just waiting for a certainty that will never come.

You do care. But there is something else — maybe fear, maybe fatigue, maybe uncertainty — that keeps you waiting for something or someone else to move first.

For me, it was perfectionism and fear of failure – those evil twins. Because I was so committed to ‘doing things the right way,’ I couldn’t accept my inevitable learning curve. Ironically, it just stretched the learning curve out.

Leading without leading

Leadership hesitation is more common than you might imagine. Especially among smart, well-intentioned leaders. They care. But they hesitate when a decision is needed. They flinch when resolve is required.

Without realizing it…they stop leading. Their business slows. The team drifts apart. Alignment fades.

A $50M company was bleeding staff and couldn’t find profits – until they finally confronted and fired an executive team member. Complaints about his toxic behaviors were tolerated for years because of his long loyalty to the company. Upon firing, they discovered he was stealing from the company and employees. Employees who had left asked if they could come back.

If this is you, here is what is likely going on:

Avoidance of Discomfort

It’s not that you never feel discomfort. But you struggle with a reflexive tendency to protect yourself from risk: conflict, rejection, criticism, failure, or even success.

The tricky thing is – you may not define it that way. Because, in your mind, it’s not risk. It’s making poor decisions that you are avoiding.

Without actively being aware of it, we use euphemisms for inaction: waiting, watching, gathering more information, to avoid something that might go wrong.

I was afraid of making a mistake that others would see. Of looking silly. So, avoided anything that I thought might do that.

This is the heart of leadership hesitation—the discomfort gets mislabeled as wisdom.

Understandable. But not helpful.

Identity-Role Mismatch

Many leaders rise into roles, but their internal self-image hasn’t caught up with them. They were excellent operators or collaborators, but now the job demands vision, clarity, and authority. If they don’t see themselves as that kind of leader, they hesitate.

This internal misalignment is one of the root causes of leadership hesitation. For me, it was the confidence that is necessary in my role as a coach and consultant. I saw myself as a good consultant. Not a successful businessman. So, I didn’t act like one and, for years, I received results in line with my self-image.

The results didn’t change until I started working on my self-image.

Protective Internal Beliefs

Behind inaction is a persuasive logic. Deeply held beliefs such as:

• “Better to wait than push too hard.”
• “If I lead too strongly, people will resist and think I’m controlling.”
• “If I get it wrong, I’ll lose credibility.”

Each of these reinforces leadership hesitation—quietly, consistently, and often unconsciously.

Here’s the tricky thing – these beliefs have kernels of truth in them. They aren’t entirely wrong. But their primary deception is in framing every possible error as a zero-sum, complete, irredeemable loss.

Not something that can be recognized, course-corrected, and learned from.

The Pattern Becomes the Norm

Eventually, this lack of taking active leadership doesn’t feel like its own choice. It feels like being thoughtful, measured, and collaborative. But it becomes a default that limits the team and stalls progress.

What began as reasonable caution solidifies into habitual leadership hesitation.

The longer it goes unexamined, the harder it is to recognize. In fact, a culture begins to build around it.

It Only Changes When the Cost Becomes Clear

A business swung from “best year ever” to near bankruptcy within twelve months. The owner asked me, “Do you have a trick or tool to help us take action?”

“It’s not about tools. You have to get up every morning and decide to lead,” I said.

Leadership hesitation rarely fixes itself. Many of these leaders don’t act until the pain of inaction exceeds the discomfort of stepping up.

But it doesn’t have to be that way.

If any of this sounds familiar, good. Recognition and acknowledgment are wins in themselves.

It means you’re human. You might be stuck in a pattern that once served you. It got you here. But it won’t get you there.

The good news? You don’t have to become someone else.

But you do need to decide to take consistent steps into those uncomfortable places.

That’s the only real way through leadership hesitation—deliberate, repeated action.

Pick one decision you’ve been avoiding. Name it. Put it on your calendar – today. Then act.

Decide. Move. Learn. Repeat.

When you act, you signal to your team that leadership hesitation isn’t your default anymore. That matters more than you know.

Take good care,
Christian

P.S. Stuck in hesitation? Let’s fix it. I help leaders regain traction—fast. If you’re tired of feeling stalled, let’s talk.