Long before you ever meet the owner or executive of a business, you’ve already met their mindset. The feel of leadership shows up in the tone of the service, the condition of the facilities, and the way people treat you. On our recent California road trip, I was reminded just how much leaders “leak” their values into every corner of their business—without even being there.

I’m sitting at a table, overlooking the Pacific Ocean. My family and I are at the tail end of a road trip from San Francisco down to Legoland (main destination), to San Diego, and back up to Los Angeles. It’s been fun. A good time with family. And an opportunity to experience a part of the country that—mostly—I’ve only experienced via airports, hotels, and conference rooms.

Apart from Legoland, we’ve been staying at vacation rentals and eating out for most meals. All of the rentals have been attractive and photogenically decorated. The restaurants varied as you’d expect. What I’ve paid attention to is the “feel” that each gives off. It’s subjective. Intangible. And very real.

“Gets it” #1:

At our Pacifica rental (near San Francisco), we were met with clear, simple instructions for using the house. A bottle of wine, homemade iced tea, light snacks, bottles of water, etc., were waiting for us. There was a high sense of hospitality and hope that we enjoyed our stay. It was such a pleasant experience, I’d definitely come back. And if that owner has other properties, I’d consider them for future rentals. My feel: This owner cares about being a host and providing a great guest experience. It felt nice. The feel of leadership here was warm and intentional.

“Trying but cheap”:

Arroyo Grande is a stop between San Francisco and Legoland. Beautiful location in a eucalyptus forest—unlike any imagination I’ve ever had of California.

The house was attractive. Walking in we felt welcomed with an array of snacks and easy instructions. A helpful guide to the area was available. Great backyard—fire pit set up. S’more supplies were ready.

But most of the furniture felt third-hand. Squeaky, flat mattresses. Couch cushions you could feel the frame through. The appliances didn’t work quite right. My feel: Friendly and welcoming but cheap. We enjoyed the days – but didn’t sleep well. Every time we used an appliance, we had to fiddle with it. It’s hard to fully relax when ‘the cost of hosting’ appears to be clearly on the host’s mind. The feel of leadership in this case was generosity restrained by cutting corners.

“Gets it” #2:

Legoland. Skilled management. Sufficient customer service.

They bullet (child) proof their facilities and dummy-proof their systems—to a very high level. They are efficient and have high volume operations down to an art. An army of 19-year-olds running the show. However, aside from a few notable exceptions, most looked like they were watching the clock.

Not a “nice” experience. But very easy with kids. Slight Vegas feel – everything costs 2x as much. My feel: “Process the herd. Make the money.” The Costco of hospitality. High volume. Low touch. With occasional price gouging. I didn’t like it but did appreciate how well they did it. The feel of leadership here was efficiency above experience.

“Suspicious and cheap”

This is where we are right now. It’s a condo, on the beach, with a million-dollar view. Photo-perfect decorations.

Walking in, we were met with placards. The first is a long list of “house rules” and the three figure fines for violating any. The second had a long list of things to do when checking out (including taking the garbage to the trash so the cleaners didn’t have to.) Furniture was cheap. Some of it was broken. As were appliances.

Nothing was welcoming. No snacks or drinks. No guide to the neighborhood. One bath towel for each guest. No beach gear or towels as is pretty common with beach rentals. Very late check-in time and early checkout. My feel: “We’d rather you weren’t here. But we’ll take your money.” Feels like we are imposing – not paying guests. The feel of leadership here was defensive, suspicious, and stingy.

Last: Gold star winner – “Got everything right”

I won’t run through all the restaurants we ate at. Most were “good enough.” A couple were good.

But an In-N-Out Burger stood out. I had never eaten there but had heard about it. Thought we’d try it. When we arrived, we were in the middle of a long drive. We were looking for “fast” as much as “food.”

When we pulled in, there was a long line at the drive through. Too long for the drive. We walked in. Those lines were long too. I resigned myself to having to practice patience. My least favorite thing to practice.

They offer three choices: double burger, cheeseburger, or just burger. That’s it. So simple it took me a moment to believe it.

But now I know why the lines were long.

The line moved fast. When it was our turn, the cashier was smiling, calm, and efficient. Behind her, I could see a team of people working hard. Everyone was “on it.”

We received our order, and there was a mistake. The cashier fixed it so quickly—I was left feeling more impressed than anything else. She was clearly empowered to fix mistakes without talking to a manager. It was an open kitchen – so as I watched the rest of the team, I saw the same thing—they were all working hard, but seemed happy. Lots of smiles.

A young woman who was bussing tables came by. She smiled, and chatted while she cleaned up around us. Then she came back with unasked-for extras for our kids, checked in on us again, and said goodbye as we left. Remember, this place was busy. But although she was working hard, she didn’t act busy.

Not your typical fast food burger experience. One pleasant, efficient, hard-working employee can be a fluke. But an entire shift of them isn’t. That’s on purpose. My feel: Whoever operated this location understood both taking care of guests and how to manage high-volume at the same time. We left feeling noticed, satisfied, rested and happy. Plus the food was fast and good for what it is. The feel of leadership in this case was both guest-centered and operationally excellent.

Why feelings matter

This article is based on conjecture. I’ll grant that. But with over 20 years of experience consulting and 30+ in leadership and management roles—I conject well. I’ve learned that front-line staff often send very clear clues about the values, mindsets and behaviors of leadership a dozen management levels up.

In professional practice – I’ll investigate these ‘feelings.’ Determine where they are coming from. My interpretations can be wrong. But not often.

Customers won’t investigate. They’ll just feel, interpret and react. That’s why the feel of leadership is not abstract—it is the lived reality of your customer experience.

What this means for owners and executives

Whether you intend to or not, your beliefs, values, and insecurities shape the customer experience at every level of your business. Customers can feel the feel of leadership and will respond accordingly.

You Define Your Culture—Whether You Try To Or Not. Your values, attitudes and behaviors set a tone that others either mimic or react to. That tone creates a culture. That culture either attracts, says “good enough until I find better” or repels.

Your communication and front line is already delivering your beliefs to your market. What message are they spreading?

Here are my questions for you:

• What ‘feel’ does your business give off or what impression does it make? Do you know?
• If you do, is it the feel or impression you intended to give?

Take good care,

Christian