My interest in working with leaders and teams developed in the Middle East. In 1996, I was 21 and helping lead a multi-cultural team at an orphanage in Egypt. The project, well-intended, mushroomed into a crazy mess. There was miscommunication during the project, politics behind the scenes, manipulation on the part of the orphanage director, clashes between the cultures on the team…I could go on.

Yes, there were issues among team members. And the team is the easiest to blame. “Other people” are reliably the best to scapegoat. But the real problems were leadership problems. And I was a part of leadership. I didn’t know what to do. I wasn’t sure I was handling things the best way.

Over the years, as I worked in increasingly complicated and tense environments in the Middle East, the Balkans, Africa, Indonesia, and Latin America – it became even more clear to me how important leadership was.

Over time, I realized the problems we were worked to address were all either created or perpetuated by leaders who ticked off one or more of these categories:

1. Leaders who didn’t know the right thing to do
2. Leaders who didn’t have the courage or self-control to do the right thing
3. Leaders who weren’t interested in doing the right thing

This wasn’t just true in relief and development.

Over the last 17 years of coaching and consulting, I’ve found that if there is a chronic problem in an organization (or a community) – it’s a leadership problem. I absolutely believe in individual responsibility. But when it comes to larger or chronic issues, only leaders have the ability to create change.

The Right Thing To Do

The first issue – not knowing what is the right thing to do – is usually a question of training or experience. This is important. But solvable.

But the second and third issues – not having the courage, self-control, or interest in doing the right thing –are ones of character. And this is where it gets tough.

As it relates to this topic, Merriam Webster defines character as Attributes or features that make up and distinguish an individual. The complex of mental and ethical traits marking and often individualizing a person.

Character Matters

Character expresses itself in many ways. But the four character traits (or deficiencies) that seem to have the greatest impact on leaders are: Courage, Respect, Integrity, Humility.

Courage: Courage is often defined as doing the right thing in spite of feeling fear.

Fear distorts reality. In leaders, it tends to trigger inaction and avoidance or overreaction. As a coach, I’ve found that many leaders know what they should do. They know the choice that needs to be made. But some form of fear, some kind of “what if…” holds them back.

Courage isn’t a topic that many people talk about. But I’ve found that the greatest breakthroughs in my life and in the lives of my clients have come from choosing the harder path of courage – doing the right things. Sometimes courage manifests as “standing up for what’s right.” But far more often, it looks more like not avoiding conflict and having difficult conversations. Or making needed choices in the absence of omniscience.

Respect: As a character trait, it is possible to treat others respectfully, without necessarily agreeing with or admiring them.

It’s about how we choose to behave towards, or relate to, others. It’s not about what they do or deserve.

The Golden Rule is probably the best-known expression of this, “Treat others as you’d like them to treat you.” This doesn’t mean agreeing with or admiring them. It doesn’t mean honoring them.

A vast amount of turmoil in society today is based on people not feeling respected or valued. Having mediated conflicts for many years, nearly all disputes that have become personalized are really about someone not feeling respected by someone else. Leaders who choose to treat others respectfully, who learn to respectfully disagree, who can recognize and rebuild the dignity of people who’ve debased and degraded themselves, is a powerfully effective leader.

Integrity: Integrity is character – it’s internal. It produces credibility – which is the way a leader is seen externally. Credibility is the currency of leadership.

Integrity means three things:

• Are your words and actions in alignment? Are your actions consistent with your values?
• Do you do what you say you will do? Can you be relied on?
• Are you telling the truth? Can we trust what you say?

When leaders make choices that sacrifice their integrity, they create problems. When they can’t be trusted or relied upon, they undermine themselves and those supporting them.

Humility: Humility is an often misunderstood character trait. Many people view “humble” as being synonymous with having a milquetoast personality.

I suggest that humility is simply the refusal to see yourself compared to others. It is practicing the habit of not thinking or acting as if I’m “better or worse than” others. Instead, it asks the question internally: Am I a better person today than I was yesterday?

Jim Collins, in the research recorded in his book, Good to Great, found that humility was the character trait that most distinguished leaders of great companies.

What Character Does For You

There are other important character traits – to be sure. But the above four traits (or their lack) have unavoidable consequences.

Their presence, in leaders, is what makes successful companies that are happy places to work possible. Their absence, in leaders, undermines long term sustainability and happiness. Skills and knowledge matter. Character matters more.

If you are dealing with

unresolved or chronic issues on your team or in your organization, the fastest way to get through them is to start honestly asking and answering some tough questions. In the context of Courage, Integrity, Respect, and Humility:

• What do we need to stop avoiding or putting off?
• What do we need to start doing?

Do the right thing. Everything else will start to work out.

Take good care,

Christian

P.S. My new book The Successful New CEO, published by BEP, is now available! Specifically written for new executives (or executives new to an organization), it takes a deep dive into the character, practices, and principles that set successful leaders apart. Available in print or Kindle at Amazon, also at Barnes and Noble or wherever you buy your books.

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